We all know at least one person who tries to sabotage us when we’re trying to make changes to our life. When it comes to losing weight it’s that ‘friend’ who makes you feel guilty for ordering something healthy or passing on that scrummy pudding.
Sometimes my clients tell me they “gave in” to a friend or member of the family because they (the client) will feel guilty if they refuse. Perhaps they had gone out for a celebratory meal or perhaps a family Sunday lunch.
There is too large a portion on the plate or a sumptuous “specially for you” dessert arrives. Once again they tell me they felt they “ought to eat it.”
So for what reason does this happen?
The thing is your friend or family member feels guilty themselves or indeed threatened because you have decided to do what the know what they need to do as far as weight loss is concerned.
So it makes them behave like idiots, rather than supporting you like a good friend should. Their behaviour then may have a negative effect on you if you don’t realise what’s going on.
It makes you feel like you might be rejected, guilty, ashamed, after all this has been done specifically for you.
So rather than risk upsetting them,you sabotage your own success, and you go along with other people to fit in and avoid guilt.
A lot of this may be happening under the surface, both for you and your ‘friend’. For you it might just be feeling a niggling unease, and if you don’t explore what that’s about you do the easiest thing – fit in and it goes away. Trouble s you then self sabotage your programme around your weight loss.
This is not about looking at your ‘friend’ and placing any blame on them for sabotaging you, it’s about becoming aware of what’s going on and taking personal responsibility for your outcomes. Your weight loss programme is about you, all about you.
You’re not in this to change anyone else, it’s all about your changes.
To make changes with your health and weight you must to take responsibility for how this kind of stuff from other people makes you feel, because they probably aren’t going to change, and they may not even be aware of what they’re doing. They’re probably not doing it on purpose,it maybe at an unconscious level. It maybe that by persuading you to feel guilty they feel better about eating something they know they really need to avoid.
If you feel like blaming them for trying to pull the rug from under your feet and find yourself saying things like “they are holding me back” – turn that around and take responsibility. Say something like “I am holding myself back”, which is empowering because you can change you, but you can’t change your friend.
The NLP Cause and Effect equation is very important here. Are you at cause or effect?
If you’re at Effect you blame everyone else for your failure, your change in behaviour.
If you’re at Cause, you take complete respect for your outcomes. You say “no” without guilt because you are in the process of achieving your target weight. The process is all about you, if others fail to help, understand or come to terms with your journey ask yourself “who has the problem”? It’s the others!
I’m a Licenced Practioner of the Hypno-Band Weight Loss system using Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy. The key to its success is helping the client change their behaviour around food, by changing their thinking towards food.
Reducing portion sizes and encouraging an exercise regime. Success rate is high.
It is well known through research that diets don’t work. Professor of Psychology Traci Mann, a widely cited expert on dieting, eating,obesity and self control and she states 97% of commercial diets fail. After initial weight loss, the dieter stops the specific diet, the weight not only goes back on, but often it is upto 10% more than when the diet was started.
So by dealing with the emotional triggers and then giving suggestions to the clients unconscious mind they have a gastric band,using Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, the client has a sustainable weight loss programme.
If you really want to lose weight on my weight loss programme, contact me now for your initial free assessment.
I know you know it makes sense.